The Accuracy Third postmortem from Burning Man 2018. End of the world bartending. Pawing at jaws for friendship. "Taco Castle" by Nonsense Man. Reintroducing Hotwire. Burning Australia. Introducing Andy-Bag. Hey, Fuckface. The Pommy in the bush. The Naked Pub Crawl experience. The BIA is awful and has always been the worst of us. D-day's darkest night in Black Rock City leaves him angry and sad. Doctor Bronners' camp should go fuck themselves, but we don't entirely agree on why. Explody anvil perimeter. A Shake Weight contest. The shish-car-bob VS the danger swings. Truth at Burning Man is hearsay. The art was so very art this year. Plus, Decibeth is the Bethest. Also, Rex has certain doodies.
What can a consent talk do? Do better at that. Consent is counter to western culture. Express yourself. Cultural Scripts. More thoughtful. There are Rangers and ESDs. Hurt feelings. STDs. Expectations. The Dick Squeeze. The mental health area. Talking photos. Rejection v. Enthusiastic Consent v. Acquiescing. Questions are everything.
Here's Beth's notes for consent talks:
Music by: Coywolf
Queen Dee talkin' 'bout feet! Buttercup tells us about personal and camp hygiene. Poni implored you to get a diva cup. Dandy & Pops discuss wet wipin'. Hand and foot ceviche. Crocs & socks (on playa.) Poni's teeth smell delicious. Rex keeps talking about his socks.
Hot Fuzz has a mindful time on playa. Never hear about hygiene again. Coconut oil scuba diving. Armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. Beth's feet are jocks. D-day recognizes his limitations. Also, it's Monistat, not Vagisil. #RealFierce #FierceLife #OlivePower #Curls4Days #burningman #burner #burnerpodcast #podcast #brc #ttitd #blackrockcity #humor #comedy #arts
Live from New York, it's the inside of LUCKY! Puss & boots. Every fear you have. The shit-pants faint. Meggo goes to Burning Man. Spanking jail & Skrillex. Rum & picklebacks. They call him Splat! Mad scientist dog bus. You're gonna get Sharpie-ed. There'll be an old guy there. Zendo is there to listen. Climb in the claw to get to the monkey. Also, fuck Queens, amirite? Plus, Stories done prepared.
Photo credit: John Curley
Buttercup's playa experience is all because of volunteerism. We're naturally against hall monitors. Accuracy Third's department. Where do I go to check-in about my shift? Burner Express again. The sound of crowd surfing. Bartholomew. Mic buddies. Do by Friday. Reconcilable differences. Roderick on the Line. You've gotta be self-aware when you're rocking the Ranger. Finding the negative poles. There's a bunch of people.
7-11 & Jeremy try to make a short film on playa. The most hideous crap. Rex & D-day don't do their homework. The "no" letter and other obstacles. Undercover Policia? Don't think of Cool Neon's toddler trikes. We can be scofflaws without being assholes. King Golden Cape. Who put that ladder up? A Burning Man Story: Preconceived Notions, 2015: https://goo.gl/Sqri81 Beyond Belief: Honeymoon at Burning Man, 2003. Eden, a Burning Man Fable. Zizek-ing Zizek: https://www.thehairpin.com/2016/07/the-best-time-i-pretended-i-hadnt-heard-of-slavoj-zizek/
Slim Dusty. 'Roo man. Effigy Superstar. Burning Swan VS Blazing Seed. Kiwi Burn & Modifier, too. Australia is cooler than Burning Man. It's 39.4 feet. Borg Spies. 3 guys named Jeff. What does BONZAA have to offer? A putrid shopping bag full of 'roo meat. DPI. Paddock is the playa. Australia has a lot of the longest things. Well-skilled bushmen. It's bigger than a 'roo scrote. Also, eskimo siblings start the global movement. Plus, Aussies don't know what blazers are, and this is Slim Dusty: http://www.slimdusty.com.au/
Photo Credit: Onur "The Angry Turk" Karaozbek
Poni is a listener with stories galore. Rex has disgusting gray water. Poni didn't get the slut memo. Virgins glob on to things. D-day had a wineskin. Camp Frat Boy had placement. Poni marathons ultra-style. Seven instead of ten gets you a different prescription. WAEZ. Arctica is super plush. Rex lies about Cafe. Well-round your burn at AEZ. A strap-on-a-thon for everybody. Dark partying. The highest jump and The Pearl Necklace pirate ship. Babies in cages. Plus, the porn and breakfast industrial complex. Also, crotch lamps.
Meet Jane and Brian from Bonkers Empire, the best goddamn bar on the playa. These awesome people do some incredible tending. Bonkers Empire holds it down at both ends. YOURMOMisaWH0Re. Paris Hilton is current. Rex believes in cum in some pants. Home sick from school in Third Grade. That's Early Man. What's good? We promise turpentine rags in 2018. Also, we just want a nice, cold Negroni, okay?
Human ingenuity without barriers. It's almost annoying. A screaming maniac under the Bee Shade. High on NRE or limerence. The baby is being put to sleep. Go to a hot spring outside of Paisley. The White Dragon Udon Bowl. Air mattresses are the worst idea. The Human Shit Podcast. My tent is huge. "Intervention: The Musical" is a work in-progress. Do not assume we three are the people we appear to be. We have context to Friend-of-the-Show Xeno. The TED talk of his nightmares. The reason you don't hate Planned Parenthood. We love Jason and Jerry. It's a lot like vaginas, actually. Also, not everyone knows mice are involved.
Hotwire takes control. D-day's theory of cultural spaghetti. Trebuchet fence display dildos. Send us shitty DJ mixes. Methcast. We're not the only the worst. Rangers are not security. The one person plague. Burning Seed needed a radio station, so Red Earth Radio took control. Australians don't drink enough. Beth asks about dicks. Eveready, the effigy builder already had his tools replaced.
The pride and problems of what very well may be the oldest continuous theme camp on the playa, Bioluminati nee Bike Mutation nee Pimp My Bike camp place. The importance of camp infrastructure. Suldrew is not his playa name, but he does have a lot of Chinar. Less shit, more fun, especially during setup week. Anyone who's anyone has abandoned evaporation. You're theme-ing it wrong, a lot about camp kitchens, and Suldrew looks familiar, but so does D-Day. Plus, Suldrew calls the playa a floor!
Rex & D-day interview one of their best goddamned Burning Man friends, Queen Dee. Maybe that's why there is a lot of goofiness and singing in this one? That said, Burning Man needs an anthem (but not the Ayn Rand "Anthem," because fuck that neurotic, hypocritical, rape-apologist-ing POS.) There's Sparklepony drift, Fucking Unicorns, Skinny Kitty, Speleo Crew at Apogaea, and Ice Pirates rigging The Pier. The Scamp is better than the Freebird is better than the Prowler. We're planning a lot of tours. Really weird Rangers. Also, we all make a lot of excuses for not seeing the thing in the box. Plus, Old Man Burning Man and the Cubatron.
Photo Credit: Diana Sabreen Photography
We feature a lot of volunteers on Accuracy Third, but possibly none more prolific than the eponymous Rick, rolling his way from one volunteer crew to another over the course of almost two decades on playa. Plus, Beth is unimpressed with our new outro script. Also, a gift from Creampie.
If you walked into Stories's camp, he would hug you, get you a drink, a comfortable chair, and some food. The Playa Puzzle Project 2018 (you don't need a packet, but you do.) Burners Under the Influence Camp. Our first guest who brought an outline with him. We love Stories, but he loves us more. A promise from D-day. BOLLYWOOD MUSIC VIDEO LINK: https://goo.gl/g3QgqD GIVE CAMP BUI YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS: http://www.campbui.org
The second episode from DJ Beth & Rex's infiltration of the belly of the DPW beast. The epilogue and afterword for Frisky Whisky's playa plane crash (from S02E07.) Gage's first season. Friend-of-the-Show Xeno is giving Mohawks. Pound Town figures out the timing. Rob is never going back. The Peppermill is a thing. Ice skating on playa. The Gerlach barbecue. Lucky's on Avenue B in NYC. Weird in the wrong way. Plus, everyone shouts "no" at Beth, and variable intoxication throughout. Also, Stories. Meet Stories. And come to Accuracy Third Live.
Friend-of-the-Show Xeno exerts his friendship on the show something fierce. Learn his sordid history while he, Rex, & DJ Beth get a little unconscionable at Accuracy Third's second visit to The Vulcan.
Papawitch and Pascal are two Burning Man volunteers. They are awesome people who just happen to be in the minority at Black Rock City. Pascal studies Russian. Papawitch has eight names. Pascal didn't have a bicycle. If Morgan Freeman had dreadlocks. Papa Witch & Pascal A custom-ass experience for your pampered fat ass. Pascal's last burn for 10 years. Also, R-Evolution (not Bliss) should have stood on the National Mall, and here's a thing about BRC's demographics from Quartz: https://goo.gl/48MTXu
Photos by: John Moyers Photography
Meet The Ceiling Cat Prophet, Gulia, founder of the fastest growing religion on playa. One of the best acts of prayer possible. Some people that go to Burning Man belong in the Basement Cat's Litter Box. The Order of Goats and Perpetual Shenaniganization of the Last Days. WTF is up with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? The pleasures of eating with Russian Burners, as well as the magic of Dust City Diner, Pink Mammoth Camp, Human Carcass Wash, Black Rock City Diner, and Skinny Kitty Camp. North West Mist has a mist system that really works, and the good word, which is, 'Meow." Also, fast-talkin' 20s guys, Dickie in the box, and the time Rex won a thing.
Accuracy Third's first on-playa interview from the 2017 burn. Kink and sex positivity abound as we talk to Kit, ex-Greeter and current resident of a dungeon-lite camp. A moratorium on spanking. Human connection through hugging humans. Vacuuming the playa. Steampunk posers. Kitty dingo, Pizza Burrito, and the day after Rough Burn. Anal, ovbs. What makes a burner? What makes Greeters unhappy? Do you remember Jiffy Lube or Leviticus? D-day is hoarse, Rex is an unreliable narrator, and DJ Beth is nonplussed with podcasting conventions. Also, Accuracy Third's tribute to Powers Boothe.
You go from Pink Lightning camp to 7:00, then out to the Esplanade, and down to 10:00. At 10:00, turn left and go all the way out to the trash fence. You go along the trash fence passing 12:00, until you hit 2:00 on the trash fence. Hard right and run along 2:00 to Esplanade, take Esplanade to Center Camp, run up 6:00 or 6:30 back to Pink Lightning camp. That loop is seven miles. And if you're doing the Burning Man Ultra Marathon, you can expect to loop that loop four times and then some. Also, the inherent awfulness of the Dewey Decimal System.